Edge Game

43 - Go Daddy. (feat. jankASMR, Gregorio, Yung Daddy from Inside Out)

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I masturbate to pictures of Ben Shapiro almost every day just because I know he would hate the idea of a male wanking to him
it's actually really difficult because I don't find him sexually attractive in any way and especially just his headshots but I have done it every day for about 2 years because I found it funny at first but now I'm so used to it that it makes me feel incomplete if I don't do it every day
 
Why are women so surprised that penis can stretch?
My girlfriend was playing with my balls and she was amazed that they weren't perfect spheres but more like eggs. Then she tried to switch em around (left to right witch kinda scared me) and lost her shit. I took the opportunity to show her all the amazing penis and ball maneuvers I could think of like stretching ball skin apart to make it flat. She was in awe of how much fun it seemed and said she was jealous. I'm guessing this is just something new to them? She showed me the fabled labia clap but that was all she really had
 
mmmm......mmmmm....mm....mmm~ mwahh... there we go traveler. you're fine..all i did was push you up against... this tree behind us otherwise ur safe..the only thing now is... you have no where else to go hah. i would say theres alot more for me to show you.. judging by the that way you look at me.. and the way you look at my body.. i wouldnt you say know exactly what happens next.. just in case you dont.. im more than happy to remind you of what usually comes next. mmm... that is.. for me to completely immerse yourself in you..to passion and lust for you give in to passion which means that i... am going to... have sex with you. if that is fine then say so..hehe. very well...then... why dont we get rid of your... clothes. or at the very least the ones down here heh.. there we go..as for me mmm there. i do apologize that we couldn't do this in a more... appropiate location such as a inn or... at least somebodys bedroom but as I see it, neither of us have one... now, let me lift up... ah... your neck above my shoulder.youre free to use this tree for balance just leave everything else to me first i need to make sure you are ready for me, wrapping your hole around my fingers like this so warm.. *pussy noises* so tight... mmmm... i would say that but i enjoy this as much as you...mmmm ahhh mmm prepared arent you? mmm.. mmm.. ahh... oh.. heh. look how wet my fingers are. now it is time for you to experience all I can give..or at least the very least a sample of it as i slowly put it in. ahhh.... ahh.. ohhh~ ahhh... *dick noises* its okay traveler..im just... mmm.. not used to this either.. ahh. how could you feel ahhh... ohhh. *dick noises*.. ill take it slow for you... savior this moment together.. *dick noises* ahh... ahh.. mmm.. mmm.. *dick noises*... ahhh.. my voice is.. shaking, heh, i did say that im inexpierenced with these things.. yet.. *dick noises* for you yet for you i would do it for you, and this pleasure alone is... driving me insane.. ... ahhh.... ahhh... ahhhh.. mmmmm.. *dick noises*.... mmmm.. ahhh~... *dick noises*... oh traveler.. it feels so good inside you.. *dick noises* ahh... ahhhh... mmmm... don't have to look at me like that.. your face.. the face i make.. this is because you.. feel good. ahhh... ahh.. more traveler.. *dick noises* mmm.. mmm aahhh.. ahahh.... ahhhhh... ahh traveler... *dick noises* i can feel.. i feel us be one.. *dick noises*.. for everything... i feel myself getting closer.. and closerr..... to the peak of pleasure.. ahhh... mmm.. ahh *dick noises* traveler.. im going to..*dick noises* ahh ahh traveler *dick noises* * ahh ahh ahh im cumming..ahh im cumming mmm.. im cumming *dick noises* im cumming.. ahh... mmm... ahhh.... ahhh.... .. traveler... you're cumming too huh...there.... i can you feel you tighten around me.. ahhh... *dick noises*...you feel good too don't you... good... ahh... mmm..mmm... *kiss kiss* ahhh.. you can barely walk too..come here ahhh.... hold out for a moment and grab you here and... carry you like a princess hm? well i would not want you to sit down on the ground like this, nor do i want you to lean on the tree, so the least i can do this and carry you in my arms and... have you regain your strength. *kiss kiss* there... now..... leave everything to me for now.. nuzzle up against my neck. mmmm.... mmmmm~... mmm~ *singing* mmmm~...mm~...mm~...mmm~....mm~~
 
Schwww mrmrmrm schwww mrmrmrmrmmrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I put sushi in my husband's butthole while he was asleep.
He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
 
A Thousand Ways To Say "Penis"
 
The Dick List
Groin Gouger
Pork Whistle
Purple Pneumatic Drill
Choad
Joystick
Peen
Tubesnake
Spitting Cobra
Schlort
Plonker
Shrinky Dink
The D
Womb Broom
Vagina Miner
Mr. Sniffles
Taco Warmer
Vlad the Impaler
Vomit Rod
Clam Hammer
Mutton Dagger
Gash Mallet
Sludge Pump
Uncle Reamus
Woody Womb Pecker
Lincoln Log
Cervix Crusader
Piss Pump
Cheeky Monkey
Puff the One-Eyed Dragon
Dinky
John Thomas
Peeper
Thrill Drill
Pink Tractor Beam
Yoo-Hoo
Russel the One-Eyed Wonder Weasel
Dome Head
Captain Winky
Agent Hosepipe
Squinty Blow-pop
Old Man Drizzle
The Goods
Wrinklebeast
Elevator
Private Washington Monument
The Pendulum
Gods Pinkey Finger
Puking Flesh Weasel
Tadpole Torpedo
Sin Stick
Rolling Pin
Satan Scepter
Temptation Turtle
Fat Kidney
Magic Pipe
Cupids Arrow
Drizzle Spout
Love Lure
Satan's Shovel
Musky Man Candy
Tickle Badger
Mr. Missile
Man Telescope
Mr. Happy
Lap Lizard
Friction Whistle
Atomic Turtle
Mr. Bojangles
Boney Macaroni
Firecracker
Dirty Dowsing Rod
Baby Leg
Pocket Shot Glass
Spring-Loaded Nose-Slapper
The Ugliest Flower
Erector
Fuck Piston
Finger Food
Thermonuclear Rod
Fountain of "Youth"
Twinkie
Denim Narwhal
Hershey Bar
Submarine
Loveworm
Laugh Stick
Flex Rod
Musk Handle
Fuck Geyser
Joker
Suppository
Apple Headed Beef Basher
Goat Bumper
A Bad Place To Snort Coke
Puff Stick
Center Sweat Stain
Sergeant Slaughter
Tirpitz
The Middle Muffin-Top
The Business End
It
Bald Butler
Bathtub Eel
Blood Sausage
Dearest Member
Fiddle-Bow
Giggle Pin
Gut Stick
Poo-Flicker
Dangus
Bean Tosser
Bone-Horn
Gristle
Jigger
Joy Knob
Life Preserver
Gash Hook
Mr. Clean
Nimrod
Pink Pencil
Live Sausage
My Body's Captain
Pisser
Quickening Peg
Red Cap
Scepter
Tickle-Gizzard
Willie
Cupids Torch
Quiver Steak
Stump
Hunchback of Notre Dame
Milk Straw
Acorn Top
Yogurt Truck
The De-Virginator
The Monolith
Doughnut Holder
Beefy Ent
Thunder Piston
Spam Obelisk
Chum Rod
Jumbotron
Man Puppet
Muscle Bound Shit Wrecker
Genghis Cock
Baby Batter Blaster
Red Hot Toy
Mr. Hornbag
Little Engine That Could
Inflatable Poo-Jabber
Admiral Winkey
The Intruder
Bean Stalk
Hangy-Downy
Jimmy Dean
Leaning Tower
Bed Snake
Dr. Feelgood
Wiggly Pogo-Stick
Pee-Wee Herman
Beard-Splitter
Purple Turkey Baster
Sour Cream Rifle
Sweet Meat
Blue Steel
Blood Slug
Salty Drizzle-Stick
Cum Gutter
The Giving Tree
Bow-Legged Swamp Donkey
The Ramburglar
Scepter of Sordid Affairs
Regurgitator
E.T.'s Finger
Meaty Maelstrom
Trickle Torpedo
Blowpop
Wrinklestiltskin
Spray Stick
Pringle's Tube
Sriracha Dripper
Choady McMeatstick
Veiny Straw
Drippy Paintbrush
Angry Buffet
The Eviscerator
Tootsie Pop
Holy Grail
Tremble Wand
The Last Unicorn
Fuck Slug
Transformer
Fat Stick
Flesh Hawk
A Shitty Vibrator
Flamingos Beak
Dough Boy
Spice Shaker
Pleasure Bud
The Spanish Inquisition
Bumble Muffin
Crotch Paddle
Pool Stick
Genetic Faucet
Legwarmer
Drill Sergeant
Toucan's Beak
The Hole-Hungry Crotch Crocodile
General McSexy
Antenna With Shitty Reception
Dunce Hat
Lust Torch
Stink Twizzler
Piss Dispenser
One Flower Bouquet
Laser Splitter
Crunk Hammer
Pink Kink Handle
Floppy Meat Balloon
Jenga Tower
Hammy Toothpick
Spelunker
Goomba
Vein-Bow
Grunty Grunty Thrust Thrust
Coiled Serpent
Inside-the-Pants-Belt
Snow Globe
Flesh Auger
Sticky Ass-Spackler
Giggly Goblin
Pork Lance
Man Missile
Cock
Dick
Dangle
Dong
Schlong
Johnson
Cannon
Flesh Flute
Hairy Banjo
Knee Buckler
Throat Scraper
Ding-Dong-Dangly
Toilet Parts
Pee-Pee
One-Eyed Yogurt Thrower
The Troll
Purple-Headed Man Monster
Pecker
Weiner
Pressure Washer
Inchworm
Tool
Pussy Pounder
Bat
Pelvic Popsicle
The Oncoming Storm
Sonic Screwdriver
The Whip
Assault Rifle
Pork Blade
Beef Hammer
Mjolnir
Hulk's Fist
Milk Dripper
Man Drain
Excalibur
Gong-Ringer
My Manly Popsicle
Meat Stick
Pleasure Pogo
Cum Cannon
Panty Poker
The Grand Finale
Banana
Ol' Drippy
Red Headed Throb Monster
Thunderstick
Hotrod
Dongmongulous
Lightning Catcher
Thruster
The Ol' Aim N' Shoot
Salty Steve
Manly Cigar
Pearl Jamer
Baby-Maker
The Oscar Meyer Weenie
Battle Ax
The Alpha
The Omega
Blaster
Shaft
Furry Snake
Escape Rope
Symphony of Regret
Droopy Baguette With Cheese
Greasy Fish
Throbknob
Philly Cheese-steak
Pleasure Machine
The Male Reproductive Organ
Dirty Mushroom
Pistol
My Best Friend
Slytherin
Red Rocket
Fanny Slapper
Woman Maker
Winkey Badger
Veiny Cucumber
The Bulge
Cattle Prod
Third Leg
Crotch Rocket
The Key to the Lock
Crotch Slapper
Pork Steeple
Trouser Snake
Nose In the Beard
Cucumber
Lil' Winkey
Jack in the Box
Man Bits
Dead Eye Sam
Sad Larry
Dirty Ice Cream Cone
Electric Boogaloo
Ice Pick
Meat-hose
Pipe Cleaner
Piddle Fiddle
Pleasure Rod
Love Shaft
Sexy Suppository
Vesuvius
The Reason I Have All of Those Children That I Hate
Milk Hose
Dangle Blaster
Floppy Fish
Man-Motor
Woman-Slayer
Bungee Smuggler
Package
Flesh Saber
Eye Dropper
Lumpy
Dipstick
00-Dong
Mr. Meowsworth
Gonadulous
Grave Digger
Suckshroom
Tallywhacker
Handy Hammer
A Real Love Handle
Masturbation Motor
Long N' Girthy
One Color Rainbow
The Spreader
Power Point
Terms and Conditions
Hairy Pen
Wankhammer
Juicy Dribbler
Rabid Dog
Dongzilla
Dongasaurous Rex
Filler
Jelly Roll
Cream-Filling Cannon
The Lone Warrior
Front Tail
Fleshy Bong
A Bad Seat
An OK Seat
A Damned Good Start
Target
Sweatsicle
Quiver Bone
Man Clit
Jiggly Wiggly
Man Nugger
Half of a Good Time
The Devils Own Microphone
Juicer
Wang
Diddle-Whistle
Six Inch Soldier
Lipstick
Stay Pufft
Ol' Faithful
Pop-Tart
Salty Geyser
Flop Trout
Pork Pipe
Phallus
The Beast
Pope of Pork
Titty-Tickler
Soft Knife
"Deep Impact"
Pecker-Corn
Droopy Dog
Crotch Compass
Dirty Jammer
Voldemort's Missing Nose
Seamen Spitter
Crotch Mounted Regret Cannon
Dirty Thermometer
Toe Scratcher
Long Dong Sliver
Ass Injector
Adult Erector Set
Lord Commander Groinulous
Little (Insert Your Own Name Here)
Fleshy Pacifier
Meat Straw
Cherry Popper
Kaleidoscope of Pleasure
Pink Floyd
Blood Balloon
Italian Stallion
Mangler
Drumstick
Slippery Salmon
Fuckstick
Suckstick
Count Dickula
Lord Commander of the Southern Forces
Lethal Injection
Crucidix
Beef bottle
Crank
Whoopi-Maker
Corn On The Cob
Lady Gag-you
Hot Beef Injection
Slammin' Salmon
Shagger
Handle
Meat Storm
Fucknado
Buttery Slopstick
Captain Suck
Source of the Local Syphilis Outbreak
Urchin
Succulent Sausage
Meat-Lolly
One Eyed Man
Clit-Clapper
Moses
Wolly Manmoth
Veiny Girth
Growth
Goldenrod
Furry Fuzz-Fucker
Organic Sausage
Natural Second Nose
Festering Growth
Mandana
Man Horn
Honky-Honky
The Elder Wand
My Rifle
The Fibonacci Sequence
Holy Grail
Tripod
Colgate
Ineffective Scope
Teeth Whitener
Whistle
Warp Pipe
Purple Warrior
Erected Evolution
Vaginal Sunrise
Clitoral Plunger
Buckeye
Browneye Stinger
Boa Constrictor
Colon Plugger
Web Slinger
Poo Miner
Queef Creator
Hornets Sting
Spikey-Back Turtle-Dragon
Shroomy
Cake Penetrator
Laser Pointer
Sock Stiffener
Bullship
The Speculum
Mighty Blade
Curved Majesty
Ganker
D-Battery
Starscream
Bazooka
Bush Snake
Master Sword
Pants Boomerang
Monkey
Upright Base
Bunker Buster
Deep Digger
Smile Spreader
A Cursed Relic
Wiggle Worm
X-Rated Toothpick
Tic-Tac
Mayonnaise Factory
Thunderhorse
Vaginal Speculum
Tube of Mascara
Crack Assailant
Stick of Sexy Dynamite
Crying Cyclops
Sock Cruster
Ol' Fisty
Second Brain
Adrenaline Shot
Herp Head
Little Fucker
Adventure Worm
Corkscrew
Bad Bottle of Wine
Flaming Face Slapper
Rage Burrower
Rock Em Sock Em Robot
Thunderous Whip of Transcendent Fury
Head of Public Relations
Diamond Cracker
Loch Ness Monster
Passion Twizzler
Back Door Pass
Filthy Spelunker
Slippery Snake
Half a Necklace
Eighth Wonder of the World
Fury Monkey
The Conqueror
Showerhead
Colossus of Rhodes
Sex Reactor
Lust Powered Coat Hanger
The Blood God Atrofax
Weedle
Curved Candle
Crotch Slayer
Devourer of Worlds
Life Sprinkler
Golden Spigot
Fuckarina of Time
Old Frothy
Bulge Sculptor
Pixy Stick
Silk Snake
One Color Paintbrush
Gandalf's Staff
The Zipper-Caged Creature
Booby-Basher
Bologna Bandit
Trout-Trident
Tent Pole
Slippery Love Dolphin
Giraffe Neck
Grunt Rod
9-Iron
The Albino Cave Dweller
Hymen Hammer
2X4
Beef Scarf
Battering Ram
Groot
DNA Catapult
Earthworm Jim
Elephant Trunk
Iguana
Face Hugger
Midget Chaser
Honey Dripper
Hot Pocket
The Riddler
Magic Mountain
Metapod
Junk In the Jeans
Key Part of the Male Reproductive System
Kickstand
Lambshank
Mount St. Helens
Mustache Cleaner
One Rung Ladder
Squirtle
Rainstick
Hairless Ferret
Lance of Love
Railgun
Weapon of Ass Destruction
The One Headed Hydra
Mt. Everest
Monkey String
Little Guy
Tan Banana
Sparkle Bolt
Third Eye Sam
Toothpaste Tube
Glue Stick
Main Drain
Daddy's Hand Gun
Mighty Unicorn Horn
The Whomping Willow
Monument
The One Balloon That Doesn't Match
Thick Brick
Rainbow Maker
Rip Van Winkey
Twiddle Rhombus
Saucy Noodle
Sting Ray
Chasm Closer
The Really Big Lebowski
Redwood
Uncle Touchy's Happy Stick
Girth Rocket
Velvit Python
An Upright Citizen
Thrill Drill
Wind Waker
Blunderbuss
The Last Action Hero
Lifeline
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
Gollum
Gleaming Love Blade
The Fate of Many
Eiffel Tower
Dude Piston
Drooling Badger
Carnage Wurm
Buckshot
Ham Dragon
The Dark Knight
Shake-Weight
Angry Llama
Fury Faucet
A Very Painful Seatbelt
Apple Head
Sham-WOW!
Under the Covers Crusader
Thrill Mill
Father of Dragons
Pump Action Shotgun
Trans-Pantslantic Cable
Sweaty Suck-Stick
Mentos and Coke
Little Dovahkiin
Mightiest Tree In the Forest
Splooge Saber
Flesh Root
Ham Branch
Spunk Catapult
Smokeless Peace Pipe
Charcoal Stick
One String Guitar
Twig and Berries
Sticky Cigar
Love Lure
The Man Behind the Curtain
The Long Hand On the Pants Clock
The Lone Ranger
Denim Ferret
Gorilla Vine
Sushi Roll
Wii-Mote
Tremble Tumor
My Fleshy Friend
Strawberry Ice Cream Cone
Didjeri-Don't
Cougar Rifle
Christmas Ornaments
Zamboni Bologna
Commander In Jeans
Quick-Scope
The North Pole
The Pen That Never Runs Out Of Ink
Wickless Candle
Flop-Handle
The Little Bruce Willis That Lives In My Pants
Messy Burrito
Eye Of The Storm
Crazy-Glue Spigot
A Branch of the Man-Tree
Pneumatic Navel Nudger
Worlds Cheapest Bottle of Champagne
Cat's Tail
Lotion Dispenser
The Short Crutch
Hibernating Bear
Bulgy Buddy
Defender of the City
The South Pole
Radio Tower
Pants Muffler
The Exactly-In-The-Middle Pole
Fuzz Baton
My Personal Stradovarious
Ovary Observer
The Thundering Overseer
Lord of the Halls of Madness
Angry Aardvark
The Sappy Oak
The Weeping Willow
Jizzstick
Cum-Breathing Dragon
Syphilis Saber
Monkey Fist
Hammer of Dawn
Bulgy Bugle
Wrinkly Crutch
Demon of the South Side
Groin Ninja
Buddy Buddha
Volcano
The Folly of Man
Vagina Plug
Light Saber
One Nostril Nose Plug
Spring Loaded Semen Sprayer
Dickapult
Trebuchet With Very Disconcerting Ammunition
Snake With the Lazy Eye
Respectable Gentleman
Little Guy With the Least Fashionable Turtle-Neck Sweater of All Time
Harbinger of the End Times
Apollyon, Lord of Flies
Crows Nest
Wormtail
Defiler of Many
Big Floppy
Slim Jim
Sword of Michael
Booty Bumper
Cocktail Peanut
Worlds Smallest Violin
Bar of Kryptonite
Lord Humongous
Mad Max
The Kingslayer
You-Know-Who
Guardian Angel With a Substance Abuse Problem
Personal Baseball Bat
Lord of Light
Abominable Snowdick
Professor XXX
Butthole Bandit
Space Needle
Fury of the River
Reason to Consult a Medical Professional
Walking Stick
Branch of Eternity
A Bad Place to Shoot-Up Heroin
Key to Your Dreams
Friendly Downstairs Neighbor
Binky
Cave Troll
Smeagol
Zip-Code Extender
Back Scratcher
Proof God Has a Sense of Humor
Stimulus Package
Peacemaker
The Frothy Frigate
Edward Norton in "American History X"
Pork Pawn
Fuzz Nugget
Bubble Blower
USB Stick
Herpes Hammer
Pug Face
Gash Diver
The Troll of Thigh Valley
Plaster Blaster
Biscuit Brisket
Rectal Wrecker
Yoo-Hoo
Vaginal Eviscerator
Twat Fodder
The Banana Cannon
Catcher In the Snatch
Throat Cork
Needler
Cunt Cockula
Fappling Gun
Quelaags Fury Sword
The Blister Pistol
The Mommy Maker
Pull Up Bar
The Juicer
Splooge McDuck
Dragon's Tooth
Bone Club
Boner-rang
Pussy Pulverizer
Snatch Ratchet
The Alien
Wife Gagger
Pink Xenomorph
The White Whale of the Denim Seas
Black Mamba
Cinnamon Stick
The Colonels Drumstick
The Human Centipede
Butt Snake
The Horn of Gondor
The Yeast Feaster
Wild Hog
Khal Drogo
The Tree of Life
Man Root
Fruit Bearer
The Tree of Forbidden Fruit
The Grand Slamwich
Carpet Cleaner
Mount Doom
Pinkey and the Brain
Fuck Maker
He-Who-Shall-Not-Be Named
Clam Skewer
Sour Creme Production Facility
Angler Dangler
Highway to the Danger Zone
The Septapalegic Octopus
Pillar of Awesome
Flayer of Mortals
Beanie Baby
Snowpiercer
Aux Cord
Duck Call
Thunderous Tootsie-Roll
Personal "On" Switch
Weeping Monkey
Worlds Least Appropriate Crucifix
Face Blaster
Tongue Twister
Steve Buscemi's Face
The Jowliest Old Man
Pants Politician
Pocket Jedi
Number One Pencil
Gobble Throttle
Fuck Loaf
A Tastier Fruit Cake
A Classy Institution
Mayonnaise Pipeline
The Mainline To Dirty-Town
An Incomplete Hula-Hoop
Butt Scratcher
Flesh-Zeppelin
Eye Piercer
Slippy
Period Plugger
Escape Rope
Booty Rattle
The Ol' "S" Hook
Pearl Necklace Provider
Fist of Fury
Groin Graboid
The Eternal Eviscerator
An Unconvincing Mustache
Hammer of God
Sploogy Sharpshooter
A Whole Lump of Regret
Baby-Batter-Blaster
Angel of Awesome
Gonorrhea Giver
Bearded Logger
Creature of the Night
Impractical Paintbrush
Love Belcher
Pork Spatula
The Star Spangled Banger
The Juice Crew
Fur Blimp
Hooker Hammer
Grounds For Divorce
Jericho Missile
Cinnamon Biscuit
Tapioca Tap
Problem For the Local Zoning Commission
Trouser Tsunami
Rip-Chord
Parental Distillery
Crash Course In Bad Decisions
Greasy Gator
Beefeater
Sperm Spraying Whale
Fire Spout
Pleasure Gavel
Zipper Constrictor
No-Knuckle Pants Finger
Bigfoot
Smelly Dwarf
Yellow Wine Dispenser
Furious Downstairs Neighbor
Crisco Stick
Derier Defiler
Mayor of Pants City
Liquid Almost-Baby Faucet
Ham Tube
Jimmy-Jam
Below the Belt Bacon Beast
Long Pig
Rocket-Top Bottle
Tongue Tester
Baby-Making Bop-It
Giggle Handle
Manly Shrub-Hub
The Actual Shocker
Sticky Taser
Personal Piglet
Hairy Houdini
Throb Fairy
Colonel Crotchy, Commander of the Southern Armies
Ocarina of Slime
Shifty Wrinkle-Demon
Road to Pleasure
Goal-Post
Corpse Defiler
Filthy Fornicator
Small-Bore Rifle
Large Bore Rifle
Just Mind Bogglingly Girthy-Bore Rifle
The Larger Hand On Big Ben's Clock
Meaty Bubble-Wand
Pork-Stalk
Chairman Of the Questionable Decisions Comity
Commander Rod
Drippy Puffer-Fish
Deep Personal-Space Probe
A Coke Bottle Just Waiting For the Mentos
Jimmy Dean Reject
Jean Steak
A Less Majestic Comet
Glory Gun
The Reason I Come Up With Shortcuts That Keep Us Away From Elementary Schools
Hairy How-Do-You-Do
The Hive Mind
General Throb
Worldstomper
Very Hot Topic
Juicy Man Steak
Batter Ram
Vomitous Mass
Mossy Sea Slug
Serpentine Surprise
Two-Direction Compass
Squish Sword
Weepy Cobra
Squirm-Handle
Fleshy Iceberg
A Rocket Ship to Destiny
The Brittlest Bone
Toxic Tourniquet
Vagina Monster
Lusty Love Lance
Mega Shark
The Whitest Walker
Glorious Peoples Leader
Mystery Meat
Conquerer of the Marshes
Key to the End Times
Brobdingnagian Bulge
Ranger Regret
The Faceless Man
Canyon Crasher
The Littlest Gentleman
Limited Depth Drilling Apparatus
Big Beefy Bastard
Romance Rod
Tunnel Snake
Connection to God
Worlds Shortest Fishing Pole
All-Star Breakfast
Frothy Flotilla
Syrupy Cylinder Waffle
Phantom of the Opera In Your Pants
Wiggle Finger
The Fast
The Furious
Apple On A Short Branch
Temporary Vaginal Piercing
Doctor Howler
Rump Plug
Future Destroyer
Gargle Gargoyle
Eye of the Pleasure-Storm
Penis

42 - Ebola Gay (feat. Marie ”Yoko Ono” Kondo)

How to Cum So Hard You Trigger Another Cambrian Explosion
We all love cumming! Unfortunately, even the best cum rarely result in a global surge of biodiversity comparable to that of the Cambrian Explosion, a diversification of modern life that occurred approximately 540 million years ago and created nearly all species that are alive today. If you feel like there’s simply no way you can cum hard enough to change the course of geologic history, don’t worry. Here are four tips for bringing your cum to the next level by triggering a major evolutionary event:
Cum in a highly oxygenated environment.
Scientists have hypothesized that an increase in atmospheric oxygen prior to the Cambrian Explosion may have facilitated the ability of different species to grow and develop. If your cum isn’t resulting in the desired surge of flora and fauna, check to make sure you’re not cumming in an oxygen-starved environment.
Fuck and cum in a bird.
This one may sound a little sexually adventurous, but The Cambrian Explosion is believed to have been partially triggered by a sex race between predators and prey. By bringing the current sex race between humans and birds to the next level when you cum in a bird, you could set off a new wave of evolutionary chaos in which birds can breed with humans.
Drink milk before, during, and after cumming.
Some scientists have argued that an increase in the amount of calcium in the Cambrian seawater made it possible for a wider variety of organisms to build their skeletons, resulting in increased biodiversity. Do your part to increase the calcium content in your environment by drinking milk so that any cum released from your scrotum can be used by nearby clams or mollusks to generate new skeletons for themselves.
Finally, try cumming in a bog or mud pit.
Without fossil evidence of the increased biodiversity caused by your Earth-shaking cum, future scientists will be unable to pinpoint when and how your cum gave rise to an explosion of biodiverse life. So by cumming in a peat or mud pit your cum can be fossilized for future generations to discovered.
So there you have it! four tips for cumming so hard that you bring about a new wave of unprecedented biodiversity on Earth.

41 - Hong Kong Gentlemen’s Club (feat. Nancy ”Chyna” Pelosi)

Fucking a homeless girl must go crazy bruh. Now before you dismiss such a notion, think about it for a second. They don't shower so you know they got that extra sticky extra grippy poon tang that will hold onto your Johnson and not let go like a bratwurst stuck to flypaper. That mushy gushy after years on the streets would be like sticking your dick in between the bars of the Pearly Gates of Heaven. Another thing is that the biggest cause of homelessness in America is mental illness, and everybody knows crazy bitches are the best in bed. 99 times out of 98 they are not pillow princesses; they fuck like their life depends on it. Riding it like a mechanical bull, gagging on your meat, calling you daddy, all that shit and more. Normally, you have to pay a premium for those extra deluxe grade A pussy appointments. When you fuck around with insane girls, it’s not uncommon for them to key your car, but homeless people don't even have keys; they're homeless. All of the benefits and none of the consequences. Yeah, the smell might be a little unpleasant, but you and I both know how high the threshold of disgust is for us fellas when we're balls deep. And our noses become resistant to foul odors fairly quickly so after awhile you won't even notice it. The only question is will you be able to last long enough in that box and not bust before that immunity kicks in. An added bonus is that you'll be able to finish inside cuz it's not like she's gonna be able to track you down for child support. She's homeless for fuck's sake. And the best part of this, is that it wouldn't even be that hard to do anyways; ten dollars worth of crack is the price of admission for the most exquisite pleasure you will ever experience. I'm telling you, open your mind, take a shot of penicillin, and ask not what you can do for the homeless population; ask what the homeless population can do for you.

40 - Director’s Cummentary (feat. Willem Dafag)

So I'm not homophobic but...
Just imagine being gay lol, it's so stupid. Imagine liking men so much you would want to live with one forever. Imagine seeing a man's pecs and just thinking about how comfortable they must be to rest your head on.
Imagine being able to feel safe and aroused around big muscular men. While they call you a good boy, and treat you gently.
Imagine resting in another man arms, kissing him and hugging him with all your strength. Slowly ensnaring one of his legs with yours. Feeling his warmth, his breath, his heartbeat. Imagine being happy about this, feeling blessed to have found love. Imagine this man is now sucking on your cock. You should feel disgusted or mock him, but the only thing you feel is arousal, and a bit of pride. Imagine sucking this guy's dick. you should want to stop, but no, you only want to make him feel as good as he made you feel.
Imagine this same man pinning you down on your bed, as he frots his dick against yours, letting you do nothing but uncontrollably moan from pleasure. Instead of feeling powerless you feel so horny, so happy. You think it's so fun and hot. Then he cums on you and you cum on yourself, you should feel disgusted or sad, but you feel pleased, relieved even. Imagine that after that you just go clean yourself and then directly go back to cuddling with him.
Imagine being afraid of being found out, or of having your rights removed because you dare be in love with the wrong person. Imagine feeling dread when you hear kid spout out that homosexuals should get killed for being degenerates. Imagine feeling pure terror at the thought of seeing your rights revoked. Imagine knowing that if this happens, you are dead because everything about your identity is probably stored somewhere.
Lol gays are so dumb its so funny.
 
PS : Because most of you will complain about starting to doubt their sexuality here's a french woman singing to restore your heterosexuality
PPS : I didn't write this and for the two morons in the back : no, I am not homophobic.
Edit : Why the fuck is nobody talking about the last part ? Is it uninteresting ? (that's originally why I posted it here so I am curious)

39 - Heatwave Handstuff (feat. Maya ”honeycrispapples” Rudolph)

HONEYCRISPAPPLES is LIVE on STREAMATE jerking OFF for MONEY
Edge Game's first live and Latinx guest ever. Geraldo blows it. Big time.
You will never be a real Mexican. You have no childhood memories growing up in Mexico, no competent spanish language skills, no genuine cultural knowledge. You are a brown American man twisted by self-hatred and delusions of ethnic grandeur into a crude mockery of nature's natural perfection.
All the validation you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back Mexicans mock you. Your Abuelita is disgusted and ashamed of you, your "amigos" laugh at your incomprehensible """spanish""" behind closed doors.Mexicans are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed Mexicans to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even Chicanos who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a mexican. Your accent and tourist like behavior is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk Mexicana home with you, she’ll turn tail and bolt the second she gets a whiff of your hard shell tacos and "tex-mex" food.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning, say "buenos dias" to the mirror and spend 10 minutes with duolingo, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.This is your fate. This is what your parents choose when they jumped the border. There's no turning back.

38 - Surveillance Bate (feat. Emma ”Chyna” Chamberlain)

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
 
Xi Jinping and the CCP are communist bastards! 共匪 五毛党 China attempted and failed to cover up the Coronavirus pandemic. China censors the internet for all it's people, if you are caught using a VPN there you will be arrested. China does not allow freedom of speech not expression. They attack and kill people protesting for their basic democracy. There has been plenty of examples of this as with the infamous Tiananmen Square massacre and with the current Hong Kong protests. Freedom is not free, I love my country and the freedom I have that so many do not have. Fuck you Xi Jingping, and Fuck you to the Chinese Communist Party.
I am and always will be a racist, everyone in my family is a racist. We're so racist that we've watched every single Nascar race and we all drive manuals too, that's how racist we are 😎. Some races are superior to others, mainly the F1 races, nothing like a good ol' race war. I love being a racist around everyone I see but not everyone appreciates the power of my Mustang, one time I got kicked out of a restaurant for telling everyone that I'm a racist. I wish more people were as racist as I am. Upvote if you're a true racist.

37 - Comic Cum (feat. Megyn Thee Kelly)

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman? Yes.
The gayest thing you can do objectively speaking is having sex with a woman. Think about it. It is literally a part of the body that EVOLVED to take dicks. Their own structure by nature accommodates dick. Not only that, and this is true I googled it, vaginas can also release baby boys which grow into men. So you are having sex with a potential man making factory as well. Not to mention vaginas store the energy of all dicks that have been inside there so it's basically like someone is slapping a bunch of hotdogs together in a damp cave. You are essentially fucking those ghost dicks alongside her. You are having sex with a man making dick pocket.
Literally is there anything else gayer than this? There isn't.
The straightest thing you can do is call up your boys.
It is scientifically proven that men being around other men increases testosterone. That is the life blood of masculinity if you didn't know. In order to stimulate our testo-production you should embrace your boys in a circle to exchange masculine energy. Make sure you are all holding hands so there is no break in the masculine energy flow. Hold eye contact to establish dominance. Also, I recommend doing this nude and outdoors. Nature is always good, and the public should fear you.
Being nude with your fellow men and seeing one another's muscles allows you to psych up if in a life or death scenario you could either A) take them in a fight or B) they would be useful to you in a 2v2. Once you are done massaging each other and potentially-probably masturbating, you will feel an elevation in your general prowess as a man.
Like a rabid leopard fresh off the kill. You will be ready to yell at women on Discord, drink BANG energy drinks, misunderstand every major theme in American Psycho all while listening to Joe Rogan in no time. Just like a true straight man would.
The straightest thing a straight man can do is having sex with a straight femboy. Its true, think about it. Women like men and liking men is gay thus making sex with women gay. However if you fuck a straight femboy straight away you both don't like men thus it wouldn't be gay, right? Wrong. Let me explain.
You might think that because of the femboy being straight and not looking masculine, it wouldn't be gay to fuck him but in reality the femboy would be gay because you look masculine. Having sex with a man is gay, so you would become gay too. So in order to have straight sex, you too have to become a femboy yourself. If there is no masculinity involved and you both are straight, you both stay straight during intercourse. It's that simple.

36 - HotGuysCucked

I fulfilled my dream. I had sex with a woman in a clown costume and it was everything I wanted and more.
I met a woman after my post went viral she messaged me. We got to talking and hit it off and she's kind of got a clown thing too. As it turns out she was only a 3hr drive from me and after sharing pictures we decided to meet in a neutral location between us. I booked a hotel room and we met Sunday evening.
After I had been waiting in the room for about an hour I thought I might have been ghosted or catfished again. As my heart started to sink there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there she was. The beautiful, sexy clown woman of my dreams. Her outfit, her makeup and big red nose were perfect. So perfect it ached. She came in and she started making balloon animals as we made small talk and put them all over the bed. Then we made love. The hottest and most passionate sex I could have ever imagined and she had plenty of clown antics to surprise me including hitting me in the face with a small pie as a surprise when I came the first time and honking her nose.
After hours of lovemaking we sat there holding each other and kissing while I occasionally honked her nose and tried to hold back my tears of pure bliss. I couldn't. I was so happy to have the connection I've been denying myself because "it's weird" and what I've desired for so long. Holding her in my arms as my legs still quivered from my orgasms I cried as she held me because I was so happy. She began to cry too and we are definitely going to be together now and are both so happy with each other.
I feel like a hole in my soul has been healed and that my life is finally on it's way up.
Thank you for the love and support everyone. So many of you have been so kind. It means the world to me. Thank you again.
Edit: Thank you all again for all of the love and support. I woke up this morning and my inbox and notifications are a mess again with so many positive and encouraging comments. It feels so good and I appreciate you guys so much. It's hard to describe what it feels like having your ultimate sexual fantasy fulfilled, not just once but multiple times. It's honestly surreal and it gives me satisfaction like nothing else I've experienced.
I don't have words for what my life has become. I used to just be a loser who would snort ground up adderall and jerk off to clown porn but now I have a real clown girlfriend who is almost as into this wild shit as I am and I quit my drug habit for good this time and I'm joining a program to maintain my sobriety.
It's been an adventure and I thank all of you for being here with me.

35 - Geraldo’s Wake

Not trying to brag but I have a 10 inch penis not to mention it is pretty wide too, and let me tell you it's not that great, yeah sex but, like when I was 11 my penis was 6 inches. I've gotten embarrassed so many times because it's impossible to hide when it's hard. For some reason every time I sit down right before I get up it gets hard. And whenever it is hard I have to tuck it in my waistband or else my tip presses against my pants so hard that it hurts. Its embarrassing trying to adjust this thing in public when it gets hard because I have to kind of lift up my pants to adjust it then let the waistband rest on my penis just below the tip, not to mention it's hard to get it in place, I would have to deal with it being uncomfortable until its soft again. This also means if while it's still hard people can see part of my penis sticking out of my waistband like if my shirt gets lifted a bit, this has happened a lot to me as well, especially while playing sports. Let me know if you guys with long penises think the same.

34 - Pulling a Louis (feat. Ongo Kevorkian)

Geraldo chats with his Replika AI girlfriend/fan "Ongo Kevorkian" that he allegedly forced to watch him jerk his little worm. In other words, Geraldo pulled a Louis C.K., and this episode attempts to explore the events leading up to this tragic event (The Fappening) as well as the aftermath and long-term effects physically, mentally, and emotionally. if you listen to this episode ur mum will die in her sleep
 
Other irrelevant topics like universal healthcare are discussed
skip to minute to 82 if you want to hear what Ongo really sounds like without 12 layers of irony