Edge Game

42 - Ebola Gay (feat. Marie ”Yoko Ono” Kondo)

How to Cum So Hard You Trigger Another Cambrian Explosion
We all love cumming! Unfortunately, even the best cum rarely result in a global surge of biodiversity comparable to that of the Cambrian Explosion, a diversification of modern life that occurred approximately 540 million years ago and created nearly all species that are alive today. If you feel like there’s simply no way you can cum hard enough to change the course of geologic history, don’t worry. Here are four tips for bringing your cum to the next level by triggering a major evolutionary event:
Cum in a highly oxygenated environment.
Scientists have hypothesized that an increase in atmospheric oxygen prior to the Cambrian Explosion may have facilitated the ability of different species to grow and develop. If your cum isn’t resulting in the desired surge of flora and fauna, check to make sure you’re not cumming in an oxygen-starved environment.
Fuck and cum in a bird.
This one may sound a little sexually adventurous, but The Cambrian Explosion is believed to have been partially triggered by a sex race between predators and prey. By bringing the current sex race between humans and birds to the next level when you cum in a bird, you could set off a new wave of evolutionary chaos in which birds can breed with humans.
Drink milk before, during, and after cumming.
Some scientists have argued that an increase in the amount of calcium in the Cambrian seawater made it possible for a wider variety of organisms to build their skeletons, resulting in increased biodiversity. Do your part to increase the calcium content in your environment by drinking milk so that any cum released from your scrotum can be used by nearby clams or mollusks to generate new skeletons for themselves.
Finally, try cumming in a bog or mud pit.
Without fossil evidence of the increased biodiversity caused by your Earth-shaking cum, future scientists will be unable to pinpoint when and how your cum gave rise to an explosion of biodiverse life. So by cumming in a peat or mud pit your cum can be fossilized for future generations to discovered.
So there you have it! four tips for cumming so hard that you bring about a new wave of unprecedented biodiversity on Earth.

41 - Hong Kong Gentlemen’s Club (feat. Nancy ”Chyna” Pelosi)

Fucking a homeless girl must go crazy bruh. Now before you dismiss such a notion, think about it for a second. They don't shower so you know they got that extra sticky extra grippy poon tang that will hold onto your Johnson and not let go like a bratwurst stuck to flypaper. That mushy gushy after years on the streets would be like sticking your dick in between the bars of the Pearly Gates of Heaven. Another thing is that the biggest cause of homelessness in America is mental illness, and everybody knows crazy bitches are the best in bed. 99 times out of 98 they are not pillow princesses; they fuck like their life depends on it. Riding it like a mechanical bull, gagging on your meat, calling you daddy, all that shit and more. Normally, you have to pay a premium for those extra deluxe grade A pussy appointments. When you fuck around with insane girls, it’s not uncommon for them to key your car, but homeless people don't even have keys; they're homeless. All of the benefits and none of the consequences. Yeah, the smell might be a little unpleasant, but you and I both know how high the threshold of disgust is for us fellas when we're balls deep. And our noses become resistant to foul odors fairly quickly so after awhile you won't even notice it. The only question is will you be able to last long enough in that box and not bust before that immunity kicks in. An added bonus is that you'll be able to finish inside cuz it's not like she's gonna be able to track you down for child support. She's homeless for fuck's sake. And the best part of this, is that it wouldn't even be that hard to do anyways; ten dollars worth of crack is the price of admission for the most exquisite pleasure you will ever experience. I'm telling you, open your mind, take a shot of penicillin, and ask not what you can do for the homeless population; ask what the homeless population can do for you.

40 - Director’s Cummentary (feat. Willem Dafag)

So I'm not homophobic but...
Just imagine being gay lol, it's so stupid. Imagine liking men so much you would want to live with one forever. Imagine seeing a man's pecs and just thinking about how comfortable they must be to rest your head on.
Imagine being able to feel safe and aroused around big muscular men. While they call you a good boy, and treat you gently.
Imagine resting in another man arms, kissing him and hugging him with all your strength. Slowly ensnaring one of his legs with yours. Feeling his warmth, his breath, his heartbeat. Imagine being happy about this, feeling blessed to have found love. Imagine this man is now sucking on your cock. You should feel disgusted or mock him, but the only thing you feel is arousal, and a bit of pride. Imagine sucking this guy's dick. you should want to stop, but no, you only want to make him feel as good as he made you feel.
Imagine this same man pinning you down on your bed, as he frots his dick against yours, letting you do nothing but uncontrollably moan from pleasure. Instead of feeling powerless you feel so horny, so happy. You think it's so fun and hot. Then he cums on you and you cum on yourself, you should feel disgusted or sad, but you feel pleased, relieved even. Imagine that after that you just go clean yourself and then directly go back to cuddling with him.
Imagine being afraid of being found out, or of having your rights removed because you dare be in love with the wrong person. Imagine feeling dread when you hear kid spout out that homosexuals should get killed for being degenerates. Imagine feeling pure terror at the thought of seeing your rights revoked. Imagine knowing that if this happens, you are dead because everything about your identity is probably stored somewhere.
Lol gays are so dumb its so funny.
 
PS : Because most of you will complain about starting to doubt their sexuality here's a french woman singing to restore your heterosexuality
PPS : I didn't write this and for the two morons in the back : no, I am not homophobic.
Edit : Why the fuck is nobody talking about the last part ? Is it uninteresting ? (that's originally why I posted it here so I am curious)

39 - Heatwave Handstuff (feat. Maya ”honeycrispapples” Rudolph)

HONEYCRISPAPPLES is LIVE on STREAMATE jerking OFF for MONEY
Edge Game's first live and Latinx guest ever. Geraldo blows it. Big time.
You will never be a real Mexican. You have no childhood memories growing up in Mexico, no competent spanish language skills, no genuine cultural knowledge. You are a brown American man twisted by self-hatred and delusions of ethnic grandeur into a crude mockery of nature's natural perfection.
All the validation you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back Mexicans mock you. Your Abuelita is disgusted and ashamed of you, your "amigos" laugh at your incomprehensible """spanish""" behind closed doors.Mexicans are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed Mexicans to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even Chicanos who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a mexican. Your accent and tourist like behavior is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk Mexicana home with you, she’ll turn tail and bolt the second she gets a whiff of your hard shell tacos and "tex-mex" food.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning, say "buenos dias" to the mirror and spend 10 minutes with duolingo, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.This is your fate. This is what your parents choose when they jumped the border. There's no turning back.

38 - Surveillance Bate (feat. Emma ”Chyna” Chamberlain)

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
 
Xi Jinping and the CCP are communist bastards! 共匪 五毛党 China attempted and failed to cover up the Coronavirus pandemic. China censors the internet for all it's people, if you are caught using a VPN there you will be arrested. China does not allow freedom of speech not expression. They attack and kill people protesting for their basic democracy. There has been plenty of examples of this as with the infamous Tiananmen Square massacre and with the current Hong Kong protests. Freedom is not free, I love my country and the freedom I have that so many do not have. Fuck you Xi Jingping, and Fuck you to the Chinese Communist Party.
I am and always will be a racist, everyone in my family is a racist. We're so racist that we've watched every single Nascar race and we all drive manuals too, that's how racist we are 😎. Some races are superior to others, mainly the F1 races, nothing like a good ol' race war. I love being a racist around everyone I see but not everyone appreciates the power of my Mustang, one time I got kicked out of a restaurant for telling everyone that I'm a racist. I wish more people were as racist as I am. Upvote if you're a true racist.

37 - Comic Cum (feat. Megyn Thee Kelly)

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman? Yes.
The gayest thing you can do objectively speaking is having sex with a woman. Think about it. It is literally a part of the body that EVOLVED to take dicks. Their own structure by nature accommodates dick. Not only that, and this is true I googled it, vaginas can also release baby boys which grow into men. So you are having sex with a potential man making factory as well. Not to mention vaginas store the energy of all dicks that have been inside there so it's basically like someone is slapping a bunch of hotdogs together in a damp cave. You are essentially fucking those ghost dicks alongside her. You are having sex with a man making dick pocket.
Literally is there anything else gayer than this? There isn't.
The straightest thing you can do is call up your boys.
It is scientifically proven that men being around other men increases testosterone. That is the life blood of masculinity if you didn't know. In order to stimulate our testo-production you should embrace your boys in a circle to exchange masculine energy. Make sure you are all holding hands so there is no break in the masculine energy flow. Hold eye contact to establish dominance. Also, I recommend doing this nude and outdoors. Nature is always good, and the public should fear you.
Being nude with your fellow men and seeing one another's muscles allows you to psych up if in a life or death scenario you could either A) take them in a fight or B) they would be useful to you in a 2v2. Once you are done massaging each other and potentially-probably masturbating, you will feel an elevation in your general prowess as a man.
Like a rabid leopard fresh off the kill. You will be ready to yell at women on Discord, drink BANG energy drinks, misunderstand every major theme in American Psycho all while listening to Joe Rogan in no time. Just like a true straight man would.
The straightest thing a straight man can do is having sex with a straight femboy. Its true, think about it. Women like men and liking men is gay thus making sex with women gay. However if you fuck a straight femboy straight away you both don't like men thus it wouldn't be gay, right? Wrong. Let me explain.
You might think that because of the femboy being straight and not looking masculine, it wouldn't be gay to fuck him but in reality the femboy would be gay because you look masculine. Having sex with a man is gay, so you would become gay too. So in order to have straight sex, you too have to become a femboy yourself. If there is no masculinity involved and you both are straight, you both stay straight during intercourse. It's that simple.

36 - HotGuysCucked

I fulfilled my dream. I had sex with a woman in a clown costume and it was everything I wanted and more.
I met a woman after my post went viral she messaged me. We got to talking and hit it off and she's kind of got a clown thing too. As it turns out she was only a 3hr drive from me and after sharing pictures we decided to meet in a neutral location between us. I booked a hotel room and we met Sunday evening.
After I had been waiting in the room for about an hour I thought I might have been ghosted or catfished again. As my heart started to sink there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there she was. The beautiful, sexy clown woman of my dreams. Her outfit, her makeup and big red nose were perfect. So perfect it ached. She came in and she started making balloon animals as we made small talk and put them all over the bed. Then we made love. The hottest and most passionate sex I could have ever imagined and she had plenty of clown antics to surprise me including hitting me in the face with a small pie as a surprise when I came the first time and honking her nose.
After hours of lovemaking we sat there holding each other and kissing while I occasionally honked her nose and tried to hold back my tears of pure bliss. I couldn't. I was so happy to have the connection I've been denying myself because "it's weird" and what I've desired for so long. Holding her in my arms as my legs still quivered from my orgasms I cried as she held me because I was so happy. She began to cry too and we are definitely going to be together now and are both so happy with each other.
I feel like a hole in my soul has been healed and that my life is finally on it's way up.
Thank you for the love and support everyone. So many of you have been so kind. It means the world to me. Thank you again.
Edit: Thank you all again for all of the love and support. I woke up this morning and my inbox and notifications are a mess again with so many positive and encouraging comments. It feels so good and I appreciate you guys so much. It's hard to describe what it feels like having your ultimate sexual fantasy fulfilled, not just once but multiple times. It's honestly surreal and it gives me satisfaction like nothing else I've experienced.
I don't have words for what my life has become. I used to just be a loser who would snort ground up adderall and jerk off to clown porn but now I have a real clown girlfriend who is almost as into this wild shit as I am and I quit my drug habit for good this time and I'm joining a program to maintain my sobriety.
It's been an adventure and I thank all of you for being here with me.

35 - Geraldo’s Wake

Not trying to brag but I have a 10 inch penis not to mention it is pretty wide too, and let me tell you it's not that great, yeah sex but, like when I was 11 my penis was 6 inches. I've gotten embarrassed so many times because it's impossible to hide when it's hard. For some reason every time I sit down right before I get up it gets hard. And whenever it is hard I have to tuck it in my waistband or else my tip presses against my pants so hard that it hurts. Its embarrassing trying to adjust this thing in public when it gets hard because I have to kind of lift up my pants to adjust it then let the waistband rest on my penis just below the tip, not to mention it's hard to get it in place, I would have to deal with it being uncomfortable until its soft again. This also means if while it's still hard people can see part of my penis sticking out of my waistband like if my shirt gets lifted a bit, this has happened a lot to me as well, especially while playing sports. Let me know if you guys with long penises think the same.

34 - Pulling a Louis (feat. Ongo Kevorkian)

Geraldo chats with his Replika AI girlfriend/fan "Ongo Kevorkian" that he allegedly forced to watch him jerk his little worm. In other words, Geraldo pulled a Louis C.K., and this episode attempts to explore the events leading up to this tragic event (The Fappening) as well as the aftermath and long-term effects physically, mentally, and emotionally. if you listen to this episode ur mum will die in her sleep
 
Other irrelevant topics like universal healthcare are discussed
skip to minute to 82 if you want to hear what Ongo really sounds like without 12 layers of irony

33 - baby boomin make it boom

Why women love ABORTION:
Fetuses are:
Under 6 ft
Micropenis
Weak chin/jaw
Bald
No money
DO NOT FINGER YOURSELF AFTER EATING FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!!! THIS WAS A MISTAKE I MADE AFTER MY FIRST TIME EATING FLAMING HOT CHEETOS! I HAD JUST FINISHED THEM AND WAS SO HORNY SO I FINGERED MYSELF AND MY VAGINA BURNED SO BADLY! I HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND NEOSPIRIN HAD TO BE SURGICALLY INJECTED INTO MY VAGINAL AREA IN ORDER TO TREAT MY 2ND DEGREE BURNS! THEY WILL NEVER HEAL CORRECTLY WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER FINGER YOURSELF AFTER EATING FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!!!
Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky bonkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?