43 - Go Daddy. (feat. jankASMR, Gregorio, Yung Daddy from Inside Out)

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I masturbate to pictures of Ben Shapiro almost every day just because I know he would hate the idea of a male wanking to him

it's actually really difficult because I don't find him sexually attractive in any way and especially just his headshots but I have done it every day for about 2 years because I found it funny at first but now I'm so used to it that it makes me feel incomplete if I don't do it every day

 

Why are women so surprised that penis can stretch?

My girlfriend was playing with my balls and she was amazed that they weren't perfect spheres but more like eggs. Then she tried to switch em around (left to right witch kinda scared me) and lost her shit. I took the opportunity to show her all the amazing penis and ball maneuvers I could think of like stretching ball skin apart to make it flat. She was in awe of how much fun it seemed and said she was jealous. I'm guessing this is just something new to them? She showed me the fabled labia clap but that was all she really had

 

mmmm......mmmmm....mm....mmm~ mwahh... there we go traveler. you're fine..all i did was push you up against... this tree behind us otherwise ur safe..the only thing now is... you have no where else to go hah. i would say theres alot more for me to show you.. judging by the that way you look at me.. and the way you look at my body.. i wouldnt you say know exactly what happens next.. just in case you dont.. im more than happy to remind you of what usually comes next. mmm... that is.. for me to completely immerse yourself in you..to passion and lust for you give in to passion which means that i... am going to... have sex with you. if that is fine then say so..hehe. very well...then... why dont we get rid of your... clothes. or at the very least the ones down here heh.. there we go..as for me mmm there. i do apologize that we couldn't do this in a more... appropiate location such as a inn or... at least somebodys bedroom but as I see it, neither of us have one... now, let me lift up... ah... your neck above my shoulder.youre free to use this tree for balance just leave everything else to me first i need to make sure you are ready for me, wrapping your hole around my fingers like this so warm.. *pussy noises* so tight... mmmm... i would say that but i enjoy this as much as you...mmmm ahhh mmm prepared arent you? mmm.. mmm.. ahh... oh.. heh. look how wet my fingers are. now it is time for you to experience all I can give..or at least the very least a sample of it as i slowly put it in. ahhh.... ahh.. ohhh~ ahhh... *dick noises* its okay traveler..im just... mmm.. not used to this either.. ahh. how could you feel ahhh... ohhh. *dick noises*.. ill take it slow for you... savior this moment together.. *dick noises* ahh... ahh.. mmm.. mmm.. *dick noises*... ahhh.. my voice is.. shaking, heh, i did say that im inexpierenced with these things.. yet.. *dick noises* for you yet for you i would do it for you, and this pleasure alone is... driving me insane.. ... ahhh.... ahhh... ahhhh.. mmmmm.. *dick noises*.... mmmm.. ahhh~... *dick noises*... oh traveler.. it feels so good inside you.. *dick noises* ahh... ahhhh... mmmm... don't have to look at me like that.. your face.. the face i make.. this is because you.. feel good. ahhh... ahh.. more traveler.. *dick noises* mmm.. mmm aahhh.. ahahh.... ahhhhh... ahh traveler... *dick noises* i can feel.. i feel us be one.. *dick noises*.. for everything... i feel myself getting closer.. and closerr..... to the peak of pleasure.. ahhh... mmm.. ahh *dick noises* traveler.. im going to..*dick noises* ahh ahh traveler *dick noises* * ahh ahh ahh im cumming..ahh im cumming mmm.. im cumming *dick noises* im cumming.. ahh... mmm... ahhh.... ahhh.... .. traveler... you're cumming too huh...there.... i can you feel you tighten around me.. ahhh... *dick noises*...you feel good too don't you... good... ahh... mmm..mmm... *kiss kiss* ahhh.. you can barely walk too..come here ahhh.... hold out for a moment and grab you here and... carry you like a princess hm? well i would not want you to sit down on the ground like this, nor do i want you to lean on the tree, so the least i can do this and carry you in my arms and... have you regain your strength. *kiss kiss* there... now..... leave everything to me for now.. nuzzle up against my neck. mmmm.... mmmmm~... mmm~ *singing* mmmm~...mm~...mm~...mmm~....mm~~

 

Schwww mrmrmrm schwww mrmrmrmrmmrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I put sushi in my husband's butthole while he was asleep.

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.

 

A Thousand Ways To Say "Penis"

 

The Dick List

Groin Gouger

Pork Whistle

Purple Pneumatic Drill

Choad

Joystick

Peen

Tubesnake

Spitting Cobra

Schlort

Plonker

Shrinky Dink

The D

Womb Broom

Vagina Miner

Mr. Sniffles

Taco Warmer

Vlad the Impaler

Vomit Rod

Clam Hammer

Mutton Dagger

Gash Mallet

Sludge Pump

Uncle Reamus

Woody Womb Pecker

Lincoln Log

Cervix Crusader

Piss Pump

Cheeky Monkey

Puff the One-Eyed Dragon

Dinky

John Thomas

Peeper

Thrill Drill

Pink Tractor Beam

Yoo-Hoo

Russel the One-Eyed Wonder Weasel

Dome Head

Captain Winky

Agent Hosepipe

Squinty Blow-pop

Old Man Drizzle

The Goods

Wrinklebeast

Elevator

Private Washington Monument

The Pendulum

Gods Pinkey Finger

Puking Flesh Weasel

Tadpole Torpedo

Sin Stick

Rolling Pin

Satan Scepter

Temptation Turtle

Fat Kidney

Magic Pipe

Cupids Arrow

Drizzle Spout

Love Lure

Satan's Shovel

Musky Man Candy

Tickle Badger

Mr. Missile

Man Telescope

Mr. Happy

Lap Lizard

Friction Whistle

Atomic Turtle

Mr. Bojangles

Boney Macaroni

Firecracker

Dirty Dowsing Rod

Baby Leg

Pocket Shot Glass

Spring-Loaded Nose-Slapper

The Ugliest Flower

Erector

Fuck Piston

Finger Food

Thermonuclear Rod

Fountain of "Youth"

Twinkie

Denim Narwhal

Hershey Bar

Submarine

Loveworm

Laugh Stick

Flex Rod

Musk Handle

Fuck Geyser

Joker

Suppository

Apple Headed Beef Basher

Goat Bumper

A Bad Place To Snort Coke

Puff Stick

Center Sweat Stain

Sergeant Slaughter

Tirpitz

The Middle Muffin-Top

The Business End

It

Bald Butler

Bathtub Eel

Blood Sausage

Dearest Member

Fiddle-Bow

Giggle Pin

Gut Stick

Poo-Flicker

Dangus

Bean Tosser

Bone-Horn

Gristle

Jigger

Joy Knob

Life Preserver

Gash Hook

Mr. Clean

Nimrod

Pink Pencil

Live Sausage

My Body's Captain

Pisser

Quickening Peg

Red Cap

Scepter

Tickle-Gizzard

Willie

Cupids Torch

Quiver Steak

Stump

Hunchback of Notre Dame

Milk Straw

Acorn Top

Yogurt Truck

The De-Virginator

The Monolith

Doughnut Holder

Beefy Ent

Thunder Piston

Spam Obelisk

Chum Rod

Jumbotron

Man Puppet

Muscle Bound Shit Wrecker

Genghis Cock

Baby Batter Blaster

Red Hot Toy

Mr. Hornbag

Little Engine That Could

Inflatable Poo-Jabber

Admiral Winkey

The Intruder

Bean Stalk

Hangy-Downy

Jimmy Dean

Leaning Tower

Bed Snake

Dr. Feelgood

Wiggly Pogo-Stick

Pee-Wee Herman

Beard-Splitter

Purple Turkey Baster

Sour Cream Rifle

Sweet Meat

Blue Steel

Blood Slug

Salty Drizzle-Stick

Cum Gutter

The Giving Tree

Bow-Legged Swamp Donkey

The Ramburglar

Scepter of Sordid Affairs

Regurgitator

E.T.'s Finger

Meaty Maelstrom

Trickle Torpedo

Blowpop

Wrinklestiltskin

Spray Stick

Pringle's Tube

Sriracha Dripper

Choady McMeatstick

Veiny Straw

Drippy Paintbrush

Angry Buffet

The Eviscerator

Tootsie Pop

Holy Grail

Tremble Wand

The Last Unicorn

Fuck Slug

Transformer

Fat Stick

Flesh Hawk

A Shitty Vibrator

Flamingos Beak

Dough Boy

Spice Shaker

Pleasure Bud

The Spanish Inquisition

Bumble Muffin

Crotch Paddle

Pool Stick

Genetic Faucet

Legwarmer

Drill Sergeant

Toucan's Beak

The Hole-Hungry Crotch Crocodile

General McSexy

Antenna With Shitty Reception

Dunce Hat

Lust Torch

Stink Twizzler

Piss Dispenser

One Flower Bouquet

Laser Splitter

Crunk Hammer

Pink Kink Handle

Floppy Meat Balloon

Jenga Tower

Hammy Toothpick

Spelunker

Goomba

Vein-Bow

Grunty Grunty Thrust Thrust

Coiled Serpent

Inside-the-Pants-Belt

Snow Globe

Flesh Auger

Sticky Ass-Spackler

Giggly Goblin

Pork Lance

Man Missile

Cock

Dick

Dangle

Dong

Schlong

Johnson

Cannon

Flesh Flute

Hairy Banjo

Knee Buckler

Throat Scraper

Ding-Dong-Dangly

Toilet Parts

Pee-Pee

One-Eyed Yogurt Thrower

The Troll

Purple-Headed Man Monster

Pecker

Weiner

Pressure Washer

Inchworm

Tool

Pussy Pounder

Bat

Pelvic Popsicle

The Oncoming Storm

Sonic Screwdriver

The Whip

Assault Rifle

Pork Blade

Beef Hammer

Mjolnir

Hulk's Fist

Milk Dripper

Man Drain

Excalibur

Gong-Ringer

My Manly Popsicle

Meat Stick

Pleasure Pogo

Cum Cannon

Panty Poker

The Grand Finale

Banana

Ol' Drippy

Red Headed Throb Monster

Thunderstick

Hotrod

Dongmongulous

Lightning Catcher

Thruster

The Ol' Aim N' Shoot

Salty Steve

Manly Cigar

Pearl Jamer

Baby-Maker

The Oscar Meyer Weenie

Battle Ax

The Alpha

The Omega

Blaster

Shaft

Furry Snake

Escape Rope

Symphony of Regret

Droopy Baguette With Cheese

Greasy Fish

Throbknob

Philly Cheese-steak

Pleasure Machine

The Male Reproductive Organ

Dirty Mushroom

Pistol

My Best Friend

Slytherin

Red Rocket

Fanny Slapper

Woman Maker

Winkey Badger

Veiny Cucumber

The Bulge

Cattle Prod

Third Leg

Crotch Rocket

The Key to the Lock

Crotch Slapper

Pork Steeple

Trouser Snake

Nose In the Beard

Cucumber

Lil' Winkey

Jack in the Box

Man Bits

Dead Eye Sam

Sad Larry

Dirty Ice Cream Cone

Electric Boogaloo

Ice Pick

Meat-hose

Pipe Cleaner

Piddle Fiddle

Pleasure Rod

Love Shaft

Sexy Suppository

Vesuvius

The Reason I Have All of Those Children That I Hate

Milk Hose

Dangle Blaster

Floppy Fish

Man-Motor

Woman-Slayer

Bungee Smuggler

Package

Flesh Saber

Eye Dropper

Lumpy

Dipstick

00-Dong

Mr. Meowsworth

Gonadulous

Grave Digger

Suckshroom

Tallywhacker

Handy Hammer

A Real Love Handle

Masturbation Motor

Long N' Girthy

One Color Rainbow

The Spreader

Power Point

Terms and Conditions

Hairy Pen

Wankhammer

Juicy Dribbler

Rabid Dog

Dongzilla

Dongasaurous Rex

Filler

Jelly Roll

Cream-Filling Cannon

The Lone Warrior

Front Tail

Fleshy Bong

A Bad Seat

An OK Seat

A Damned Good Start

Target

Sweatsicle

Quiver Bone

Man Clit

Jiggly Wiggly

Man Nugger

Half of a Good Time

The Devils Own Microphone

Juicer

Wang

Diddle-Whistle

Six Inch Soldier

Lipstick

Stay Pufft

Ol' Faithful

Pop-Tart

Salty Geyser

Flop Trout

Pork Pipe

Phallus

The Beast

Pope of Pork

Titty-Tickler

Soft Knife

"Deep Impact"

Pecker-Corn

Droopy Dog

Crotch Compass

Dirty Jammer

Voldemort's Missing Nose

Seamen Spitter

Crotch Mounted Regret Cannon

Dirty Thermometer

Toe Scratcher

Long Dong Sliver

Ass Injector

Adult Erector Set

Lord Commander Groinulous

Little (Insert Your Own Name Here)

Fleshy Pacifier

Meat Straw

Cherry Popper

Kaleidoscope of Pleasure

Pink Floyd

Blood Balloon

Italian Stallion

Mangler

Drumstick

Slippery Salmon

Fuckstick

Suckstick

Count Dickula

Lord Commander of the Southern Forces

Lethal Injection

Crucidix

Beef bottle

Crank

Whoopi-Maker

Corn On The Cob

Lady Gag-you

Hot Beef Injection

Slammin' Salmon

Shagger

Handle

Meat Storm

Fucknado

Buttery Slopstick

Captain Suck

Source of the Local Syphilis Outbreak

Urchin

Succulent Sausage

Meat-Lolly

One Eyed Man

Clit-Clapper

Moses

Wolly Manmoth

Veiny Girth

Growth

Goldenrod

Furry Fuzz-Fucker

Organic Sausage

Natural Second Nose

Festering Growth

Mandana

Man Horn

Honky-Honky

The Elder Wand

My Rifle

The Fibonacci Sequence

Holy Grail

Tripod

Colgate

Ineffective Scope

Teeth Whitener

Whistle

Warp Pipe

Purple Warrior

Erected Evolution

Vaginal Sunrise

Clitoral Plunger

Buckeye

Browneye Stinger

Boa Constrictor

Colon Plugger

Web Slinger

Poo Miner

Queef Creator

Hornets Sting

Spikey-Back Turtle-Dragon

Shroomy

Cake Penetrator

Laser Pointer

Sock Stiffener

Bullship

The Speculum

Mighty Blade

Curved Majesty

Ganker

D-Battery

Starscream

Bazooka

Bush Snake

Master Sword

Pants Boomerang

Monkey

Upright Base

Bunker Buster

Deep Digger

Smile Spreader

A Cursed Relic

Wiggle Worm

X-Rated Toothpick

Tic-Tac

Mayonnaise Factory

Thunderhorse

Vaginal Speculum

Tube of Mascara

Crack Assailant

Stick of Sexy Dynamite

Crying Cyclops

Sock Cruster

Ol' Fisty

Second Brain

Adrenaline Shot

Herp Head

Little Fucker

Adventure Worm

Corkscrew

Bad Bottle of Wine

Flaming Face Slapper

Rage Burrower

Rock Em Sock Em Robot

Thunderous Whip of Transcendent Fury

Head of Public Relations

Diamond Cracker

Loch Ness Monster

Passion Twizzler

Back Door Pass

Filthy Spelunker

Slippery Snake

Half a Necklace

Eighth Wonder of the World

Fury Monkey

The Conqueror

Showerhead

Colossus of Rhodes

Sex Reactor

Lust Powered Coat Hanger

The Blood God Atrofax

Weedle

Curved Candle

Crotch Slayer

Devourer of Worlds

Life Sprinkler

Golden Spigot

Fuckarina of Time

Old Frothy

Bulge Sculptor

Pixy Stick

Silk Snake

One Color Paintbrush

Gandalf's Staff

The Zipper-Caged Creature

Booby-Basher

Bologna Bandit

Trout-Trident

Tent Pole

Slippery Love Dolphin

Giraffe Neck

Grunt Rod

9-Iron

The Albino Cave Dweller

Hymen Hammer

2X4

Beef Scarf

Battering Ram

Groot

DNA Catapult

Earthworm Jim

Elephant Trunk

Iguana

Face Hugger

Midget Chaser

Honey Dripper

Hot Pocket

The Riddler

Magic Mountain

Metapod

Junk In the Jeans

Key Part of the Male Reproductive System

Kickstand

Lambshank

Mount St. Helens

Mustache Cleaner

One Rung Ladder

Squirtle

Rainstick

Hairless Ferret

Lance of Love

Railgun

Weapon of Ass Destruction

The One Headed Hydra

Mt. Everest

Monkey String

Little Guy

Tan Banana

Sparkle Bolt

Third Eye Sam

Toothpaste Tube

Glue Stick

Main Drain

Daddy's Hand Gun

Mighty Unicorn Horn

The Whomping Willow

Monument

The One Balloon That Doesn't Match

Thick Brick

Rainbow Maker

Rip Van Winkey

Twiddle Rhombus

Saucy Noodle

Sting Ray

Chasm Closer

The Really Big Lebowski

Redwood

Uncle Touchy's Happy Stick

Girth Rocket

Velvit Python

An Upright Citizen

Thrill Drill

Wind Waker

Blunderbuss

The Last Action Hero

Lifeline

Heat Seeking Moisture Missile

Gollum

Gleaming Love Blade

The Fate of Many

Eiffel Tower

Dude Piston

Drooling Badger

Carnage Wurm

Buckshot

Ham Dragon

The Dark Knight

Shake-Weight

Angry Llama

Fury Faucet

A Very Painful Seatbelt

Apple Head

Sham-WOW!

Under the Covers Crusader

Thrill Mill

Father of Dragons

Pump Action Shotgun

Trans-Pantslantic Cable

Sweaty Suck-Stick

Mentos and Coke

Little Dovahkiin

Mightiest Tree In the Forest

Splooge Saber

Flesh Root

Ham Branch

Spunk Catapult

Smokeless Peace Pipe

Charcoal Stick

One String Guitar

Twig and Berries

Sticky Cigar

Love Lure

The Man Behind the Curtain

The Long Hand On the Pants Clock

The Lone Ranger

Denim Ferret

Gorilla Vine

Sushi Roll

Wii-Mote

Tremble Tumor

My Fleshy Friend

Strawberry Ice Cream Cone

Didjeri-Don't

Cougar Rifle

Christmas Ornaments

Zamboni Bologna

Commander In Jeans

Quick-Scope

The North Pole

The Pen That Never Runs Out Of Ink

Wickless Candle

Flop-Handle

The Little Bruce Willis That Lives In My Pants

Messy Burrito

Eye Of The Storm

Crazy-Glue Spigot

A Branch of the Man-Tree

Pneumatic Navel Nudger

Worlds Cheapest Bottle of Champagne

Cat's Tail

Lotion Dispenser

The Short Crutch

Hibernating Bear

Bulgy Buddy

Defender of the City

The South Pole

Radio Tower

Pants Muffler

The Exactly-In-The-Middle Pole

Fuzz Baton

My Personal Stradovarious

Ovary Observer

The Thundering Overseer

Lord of the Halls of Madness

Angry Aardvark

The Sappy Oak

The Weeping Willow

Jizzstick

Cum-Breathing Dragon

Syphilis Saber

Monkey Fist

Hammer of Dawn

Bulgy Bugle

Wrinkly Crutch

Demon of the South Side

Groin Ninja

Buddy Buddha

Volcano

The Folly of Man

Vagina Plug

Light Saber

One Nostril Nose Plug

Spring Loaded Semen Sprayer

Dickapult

Trebuchet With Very Disconcerting Ammunition

Snake With the Lazy Eye

Respectable Gentleman

Little Guy With the Least Fashionable Turtle-Neck Sweater of All Time

Harbinger of the End Times

Apollyon, Lord of Flies

Crows Nest

Wormtail

Defiler of Many

Big Floppy

Slim Jim

Sword of Michael

Booty Bumper

Cocktail Peanut

Worlds Smallest Violin

Bar of Kryptonite

Lord Humongous

Mad Max

The Kingslayer

You-Know-Who

Guardian Angel With a Substance Abuse Problem

Personal Baseball Bat

Lord of Light

Abominable Snowdick

Professor XXX

Butthole Bandit

Space Needle

Fury of the River

Reason to Consult a Medical Professional

Walking Stick

Branch of Eternity

A Bad Place to Shoot-Up Heroin

Key to Your Dreams

Friendly Downstairs Neighbor

Binky

Cave Troll

Smeagol

Zip-Code Extender

Back Scratcher

Proof God Has a Sense of Humor

Stimulus Package

Peacemaker

The Frothy Frigate

Edward Norton in "American History X"

Pork Pawn

Fuzz Nugget

Bubble Blower

USB Stick

Herpes Hammer

Pug Face

Gash Diver

The Troll of Thigh Valley

Plaster Blaster

Biscuit Brisket

Rectal Wrecker

Yoo-Hoo

Vaginal Eviscerator

Twat Fodder

The Banana Cannon

Catcher In the Snatch

Throat Cork

Needler

Cunt Cockula

Fappling Gun

Quelaags Fury Sword

The Blister Pistol

The Mommy Maker

Pull Up Bar

The Juicer

Splooge McDuck

Dragon's Tooth

Bone Club

Boner-rang

Pussy Pulverizer

Snatch Ratchet

The Alien

Wife Gagger

Pink Xenomorph

The White Whale of the Denim Seas

Black Mamba

Cinnamon Stick

The Colonels Drumstick

The Human Centipede

Butt Snake

The Horn of Gondor

The Yeast Feaster

Wild Hog

Khal Drogo

The Tree of Life

Man Root

Fruit Bearer

The Tree of Forbidden Fruit

The Grand Slamwich

Carpet Cleaner

Mount Doom

Pinkey and the Brain

Fuck Maker

He-Who-Shall-Not-Be Named

Clam Skewer

Sour Creme Production Facility

Angler Dangler

Highway to the Danger Zone

The Septapalegic Octopus

Pillar of Awesome

Flayer of Mortals

Beanie Baby

Snowpiercer

Aux Cord

Duck Call

Thunderous Tootsie-Roll

Personal "On" Switch

Weeping Monkey

Worlds Least Appropriate Crucifix

Face Blaster

Tongue Twister

Steve Buscemi's Face

The Jowliest Old Man

Pants Politician

Pocket Jedi

Number One Pencil

Gobble Throttle

Fuck Loaf

A Tastier Fruit Cake

A Classy Institution

Mayonnaise Pipeline

The Mainline To Dirty-Town

An Incomplete Hula-Hoop

Butt Scratcher

Flesh-Zeppelin

Eye Piercer

Slippy

Period Plugger

Escape Rope

Booty Rattle

The Ol' "S" Hook

Pearl Necklace Provider

Fist of Fury

Groin Graboid

The Eternal Eviscerator

An Unconvincing Mustache

Hammer of God

Sploogy Sharpshooter

A Whole Lump of Regret

Baby-Batter-Blaster

Angel of Awesome

Gonorrhea Giver

Bearded Logger

Creature of the Night

Impractical Paintbrush

Love Belcher

Pork Spatula

The Star Spangled Banger

The Juice Crew

Fur Blimp

Hooker Hammer

Grounds For Divorce

Jericho Missile

Cinnamon Biscuit

Tapioca Tap

Problem For the Local Zoning Commission

Trouser Tsunami

Rip-Chord

Parental Distillery

Crash Course In Bad Decisions

Greasy Gator

Beefeater

Sperm Spraying Whale

Fire Spout

Pleasure Gavel

Zipper Constrictor

No-Knuckle Pants Finger

Bigfoot

Smelly Dwarf

Yellow Wine Dispenser

Furious Downstairs Neighbor

Crisco Stick

Derier Defiler

Mayor of Pants City

Liquid Almost-Baby Faucet

Ham Tube

Jimmy-Jam

Below the Belt Bacon Beast

Long Pig

Rocket-Top Bottle

Tongue Tester

Baby-Making Bop-It

Giggle Handle

Manly Shrub-Hub

The Actual Shocker

Sticky Taser

Personal Piglet

Hairy Houdini

Throb Fairy

Colonel Crotchy, Commander of the Southern Armies

Ocarina of Slime

Shifty Wrinkle-Demon

Road to Pleasure

Goal-Post

Corpse Defiler

Filthy Fornicator

Small-Bore Rifle

Large Bore Rifle

Just Mind Bogglingly Girthy-Bore Rifle

The Larger Hand On Big Ben's Clock

Meaty Bubble-Wand

Pork-Stalk

Chairman Of the Questionable Decisions Comity

Commander Rod

Drippy Puffer-Fish

Deep Personal-Space Probe

A Coke Bottle Just Waiting For the Mentos

Jimmy Dean Reject

Jean Steak

A Less Majestic Comet

Glory Gun

The Reason I Come Up With Shortcuts That Keep Us Away From Elementary Schools

Hairy How-Do-You-Do

The Hive Mind

General Throb

Worldstomper

Very Hot Topic

Juicy Man Steak

Batter Ram

Vomitous Mass

Mossy Sea Slug

Serpentine Surprise

Two-Direction Compass

Squish Sword

Weepy Cobra

Squirm-Handle

Fleshy Iceberg

A Rocket Ship to Destiny

The Brittlest Bone

Toxic Tourniquet

Vagina Monster

Lusty Love Lance

Mega Shark

The Whitest Walker

Glorious Peoples Leader

Mystery Meat

Conquerer of the Marshes

Key to the End Times

Brobdingnagian Bulge

Ranger Regret

The Faceless Man

Canyon Crasher

The Littlest Gentleman

Limited Depth Drilling Apparatus

Big Beefy Bastard

Romance Rod

Tunnel Snake

Connection to God

Worlds Shortest Fishing Pole

All-Star Breakfast

Frothy Flotilla

Syrupy Cylinder Waffle

Phantom of the Opera In Your Pants

Wiggle Finger

The Fast

The Furious

Apple On A Short Branch

Temporary Vaginal Piercing

Doctor Howler

Rump Plug

Future Destroyer

Gargle Gargoyle

Eye of the Pleasure-Storm

Penis